Honestly, forgiveness is something that I have struggled with for years. I learned that forgiveness does not happen over night . We often say we forgive , but then we bring it up over and over again . Forgiveness is not about saying , “I accept your apology.” It is about genuinely letting go of the hurt and moving on . It is not for the other person , but it is for you .
For years, I found myself being angry with my father . My parents have been divorced since I was six months , and my mom had sole custody . No matter what their relationship looked like she always encouraged my brother and I to reach out to my father and try to have a healthy and normal relationship with him . Unfortunately for me it felt like every time I tried, I would just keep getting disappointed . Honestly, for years I resented my father . I hated when my mom would tell me I looked like him or had certain behaviors of his . I wanted no parts of him . I was angry that I could not be daddy’s little princess or could never attend a father-daughter dance. My relationship with him hindered me from trusting men . It caused me to search for love in some of the wrong places. It kept me from completely loving and accepting love .
Just recently I realized that I had to move on . I could not continue to dwell on past hurt . Every man is not the same as my father . Some men do actually keep promises. Some men are truly consistent , not perfect but consistent. While I was ruining relationships and hating my father , he was living his best life . He was perfectly content with his behavior and was not losing any sleep. I had to forgive him in order to be my best self . God would deal with him for his actions . In Romans 12:19 God reminds us of this by telling us that vengeance is His . He will take care of all of our troubles .
Forgiveness can be extremely hard to do, but it is necessary. Words hurt. Actions hurt. Lies hurt. I get it, but you have to move on. While you have acquired hate in your heart and are all upset , the very ones that hurt you are out living their best lives. They may care enough to ask for forgiveness , but they may not . Either way life goes on . I’m not saying that you have to forget their actions . In fact, if a person keeps doing the same thing and needing forgiveness they probably are not truly sorry . Forgiveness is not condoning the action, but simply letting it go . Life is too short to hold on to grudges, but we must show compassion for others just as God has done for us .